Happy New Year to everyone!
God Bless!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Reflections
I have really enjoyed being home. I needed that refreshing, seeing the folks that have helped me grow spiritually and who have spent so much time praying for me. I know people have put in hours on me. Quite possibly people I do not even know. I am very grateful. Yet, I feel as if I have fallen so short of the mark of service for God. I am nothing good. I am dirty, rotten, no good, sinful flesh. I have failed so many times. Psalm 34:19 say "Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the LORD delivereth him out of them all." I am thankful that the Lord already knows that I will fail, that I have and will sin, that He forgives and will guide me in His way if I let Him.
This evenings service was what was needed by many, especially me. Mr. Johnson spoke on how (generally) Christians do not thank God for all of HIs goodness. I am afraid that I fall into this category. I am very ashamed of this. God has given me SO much, but I, unfortunately, take much of it for granted. Psalm 107:8 says "Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men." The trials are for testing and purification. I know this, but I don't. I often question and doubt God on what He is doing in my life. It is something I need to work on.
I want to do the right thing, the Lord's will for my life. I do desire that. I also know that I have much to work on. I know this can't happen over night, but that it is a process, even a work in progress. The Lord knows my heart.
I am reminded of the song "Count Your Blessings." They are too numerable, but here are some":
Jesus Christ dying on the cross
The blood of calvary
redemption
forgiveness
the virgin birth
the Holy Bible (KJV)
WBC
FBC
Mom
Dad
Nessa
AJ
Logan
Laura
Lucas
My education
college staff
my pastor
the many folks who have and are praying for me
my extended family
all the friends I have made
justification
saving grace
Christ's humility
Christ's compassion
being an American
my salvation
This is not a complete list because "daily he loadeth us with benefits."
The Lord has been so good to me. How have I been to Him?
This evenings service was what was needed by many, especially me. Mr. Johnson spoke on how (generally) Christians do not thank God for all of HIs goodness. I am afraid that I fall into this category. I am very ashamed of this. God has given me SO much, but I, unfortunately, take much of it for granted. Psalm 107:8 says "Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men." The trials are for testing and purification. I know this, but I don't. I often question and doubt God on what He is doing in my life. It is something I need to work on.
I want to do the right thing, the Lord's will for my life. I do desire that. I also know that I have much to work on. I know this can't happen over night, but that it is a process, even a work in progress. The Lord knows my heart.
I am reminded of the song "Count Your Blessings." They are too numerable, but here are some":
Jesus Christ dying on the cross
The blood of calvary
redemption
forgiveness
the virgin birth
the Holy Bible (KJV)
WBC
FBC
Mom
Dad
Nessa
AJ
Logan
Laura
Lucas
My education
college staff
my pastor
the many folks who have and are praying for me
my extended family
all the friends I have made
justification
saving grace
Christ's humility
Christ's compassion
being an American
my salvation
This is not a complete list because "daily he loadeth us with benefits."
The Lord has been so good to me. How have I been to Him?
Monday, December 26, 2005
MERRY CHRISTmas everyone! I hope you and yours had a great one!
MERRY CHRISTmas everyone! I hope you and yours had a great one!
My CHRISTmas was a bit different this year. I made it home on CHRISTmas Eve morning in time to go bus visiting with my church. I took my brother along as well. Quite a few kids said that they were going to go to church, which was such a blessing since it was going to be CHRISTmas morning. I also told my brother that I was going to be cutting his later that day because he looked very shaggy. After visiting, I did cut his hair. And he looks much better!
Then I took my brother CHRISTmas shopping since he had not been able to go out before then. I helped him find some stuff for Mom and Dad and showed him exactly what he could get me. We were going to stop at the local Red Apple to eat, but it was closed. I did not want fast food. So, on our way back home, we stopped at Subway (his treat). Then AJ and I went to the CHRISTmas Eve service at church.
We usually visit a family friend on CHRISTmas Eve, but we didn't this year.So, I stopped and visited her after the evening service on Sunday.
On CHRISTmas morning, we all went to church! That was my top CHRISTmas wish, to have my whole family attend church on CHRISTmas morning. What a blessing it was!
After church, we waited for my uncle to get to our house (he's mentally handicapped and lives in a group home). Then we opened our gifts. We all got some good stuff. My mom told me that Dad was tickled to get me a car emergency kit. I've been wanting one of those! It has one of those battery starters that comes in so handy since I often have problems with my battery charging right, although, its been better since Dad got me a bigger battery.
I made my first baby hat last night with this "Knifty Knitter" thing. I am working on number two right now!
All in all, I had a great CHRISTmas. How was yours?
Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year! God Bless!
My CHRISTmas was a bit different this year. I made it home on CHRISTmas Eve morning in time to go bus visiting with my church. I took my brother along as well. Quite a few kids said that they were going to go to church, which was such a blessing since it was going to be CHRISTmas morning. I also told my brother that I was going to be cutting his later that day because he looked very shaggy. After visiting, I did cut his hair. And he looks much better!
Then I took my brother CHRISTmas shopping since he had not been able to go out before then. I helped him find some stuff for Mom and Dad and showed him exactly what he could get me. We were going to stop at the local Red Apple to eat, but it was closed. I did not want fast food. So, on our way back home, we stopped at Subway (his treat). Then AJ and I went to the CHRISTmas Eve service at church.
We usually visit a family friend on CHRISTmas Eve, but we didn't this year.So, I stopped and visited her after the evening service on Sunday.
On CHRISTmas morning, we all went to church! That was my top CHRISTmas wish, to have my whole family attend church on CHRISTmas morning. What a blessing it was!
After church, we waited for my uncle to get to our house (he's mentally handicapped and lives in a group home). Then we opened our gifts. We all got some good stuff. My mom told me that Dad was tickled to get me a car emergency kit. I've been wanting one of those! It has one of those battery starters that comes in so handy since I often have problems with my battery charging right, although, its been better since Dad got me a bigger battery.
I made my first baby hat last night with this "Knifty Knitter" thing. I am working on number two right now!
All in all, I had a great CHRISTmas. How was yours?
Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year! God Bless!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Up and coming...
I will be going to the class party in just a bit. Actually, I want to go in the classroom while the kids are at chapel and get things on their desks. I know I am going to cry! After spending 4 months getting to know these kids, I am done. There have been some srtuggles and disappointments, but overall, it has been a really good semester.
It's kind of interesting to note that when I began college, I started as a missions major. I knew I wouldn't have to teach if I did that. Funny thing is, I had wanted to be a teacher for a long time (well, an elementary music teacher, to be exact). Then, at the end of my freshman year, I switched my major to El. Ed. Everything was going fine until the day I actually had to teach! I was so scared! Now, I am going to miss it so much! These kids grow on you. I have gotten little notes, cards, presents, apples, and art projects from my 3rd and 4th graders. On their last composition chapter, I cried while reading through them, not because they were moving (compare/contrast cats and dogs), but because I was going to miss them so much and miss reading their papers and teaching them. You get to see their personality came out when they write.
Well, I have half an hour before the party starts and I need to run back to the dorm and get their goody bags that I made up for them and to get the other teachers' gifts and some snack stuff.
*sigh*
It's kind of interesting to note that when I began college, I started as a missions major. I knew I wouldn't have to teach if I did that. Funny thing is, I had wanted to be a teacher for a long time (well, an elementary music teacher, to be exact). Then, at the end of my freshman year, I switched my major to El. Ed. Everything was going fine until the day I actually had to teach! I was so scared! Now, I am going to miss it so much! These kids grow on you. I have gotten little notes, cards, presents, apples, and art projects from my 3rd and 4th graders. On their last composition chapter, I cried while reading through them, not because they were moving (compare/contrast cats and dogs), but because I was going to miss them so much and miss reading their papers and teaching them. You get to see their personality came out when they write.
Well, I have half an hour before the party starts and I need to run back to the dorm and get their goody bags that I made up for them and to get the other teachers' gifts and some snack stuff.
*sigh*
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Student teaching
I am done and I will miss it. It's hard to think I have done it for 4 months and now it is over. I went to my advisory teacher's house last night for dinner and to make peanut butter play-dough for the class party tomorrow. The food was great and the preparation was fun.
I am going to go to the class party. Those kids are so precious to me.
I am going to go to the class party. Those kids are so precious to me.
Where I came from 2
Well, I only got up to elementary school in the family section. Now to continue.
I think life with my immediate family will always be the same, unless the Lord does a great and mighty work (and ALL things are possible with God). Screaming, yelling, anger, discontentment, verbal abuse... The list can go on and on.
I want to have a family much different than my own. I want a family that knows what love is, and it is not material possessions. I have so much junk, here and at home. Why? Beats me. I think my dad thinks that possessions are a sign of love or something. It's not. Spending quality time with each other is a better indication of love for others, but that does not mean in front of the TV, computer, or stupid game systems.
Don't get me wrong, I fall prey to these things too.
I do desire to live a life that is pleasing to God. One that makes a difference in peoples' lives. One that's worth living.
In middle school, I struggled with who I was. I got saved at 12, but I sure didn't live like it. I think being saved kept me from going off the deep end. Most of my friends were the Goths of the school and I often dressed as they did. I didn't do it to be rebellious or to stand out from the crowd, I did it to fit into the crowd. I never fully fell into all that. A staff member recently said that they couldn't understand why a teen would want to do dress gothic. I don't know about most of the exteme ones, but many do it to fit in with the others they associate with. Just as the "popular" kids do with the name brand clothes.
Then came a time in my life that turned everything upsidedown. My mom had bouts of sickness and was hospitalized. I thnk it was the second round that almost killed her. She was in a coma-like state 10 days. They wouldn't let me see her. Iwas so upset about that at the time. I think I am glad now that they didn't let me see her. Then, after she was home and getting better, she became pregnant with triplets. WHOA! What a schocker! None of us could believe it at all. They were born 3 months early and weighed: Logan- 1 lb 13 oz, Laura- 1 lb 12 oz, and Lucas- 1 lb 6 oz. They lived 10 days, 15 days,and 2 months 27 days, respectively. That was shattering. I was in the depths of despair. Then, God became real to me. It was still a struggle, though.
High school came and went. I was involved choir at both schools I went to. The second high school is where I started to stray, going along with religious friends, but not Godly friends. I went to church all during this time to my church (Sun morn and eve) but I started going to a Methodist church for youth group. They meant well, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. There was no separation, but there was plenty of fun. We were challenged to live a good life, but I dare not say a Godly life because this church used a perverted version of the Bible, let guys and girls touch, and girls wore pants, and all looked worldly. That's how many of churches nowadays get their teens: they let them do whatever they want. Praise God that I have a chuch at home and at college that calls for Biblical standards!
When I graduated high school, I then started looking for a college to attend. The one I am at now did not make my personal "I'll look into it" list. All I gave it was a passing thought. My pastor recconmmeded it to me. I decided to follow his advice. I am glad that I did, now, although there have been plenty of struggles that followed.
I think my entries became disjointed due to the fact that they are written over a couple of months aprt. Oh well.
I think life with my immediate family will always be the same, unless the Lord does a great and mighty work (and ALL things are possible with God). Screaming, yelling, anger, discontentment, verbal abuse... The list can go on and on.
I want to have a family much different than my own. I want a family that knows what love is, and it is not material possessions. I have so much junk, here and at home. Why? Beats me. I think my dad thinks that possessions are a sign of love or something. It's not. Spending quality time with each other is a better indication of love for others, but that does not mean in front of the TV, computer, or stupid game systems.
Don't get me wrong, I fall prey to these things too.
I do desire to live a life that is pleasing to God. One that makes a difference in peoples' lives. One that's worth living.
In middle school, I struggled with who I was. I got saved at 12, but I sure didn't live like it. I think being saved kept me from going off the deep end. Most of my friends were the Goths of the school and I often dressed as they did. I didn't do it to be rebellious or to stand out from the crowd, I did it to fit into the crowd. I never fully fell into all that. A staff member recently said that they couldn't understand why a teen would want to do dress gothic. I don't know about most of the exteme ones, but many do it to fit in with the others they associate with. Just as the "popular" kids do with the name brand clothes.
Then came a time in my life that turned everything upsidedown. My mom had bouts of sickness and was hospitalized. I thnk it was the second round that almost killed her. She was in a coma-like state 10 days. They wouldn't let me see her. Iwas so upset about that at the time. I think I am glad now that they didn't let me see her. Then, after she was home and getting better, she became pregnant with triplets. WHOA! What a schocker! None of us could believe it at all. They were born 3 months early and weighed: Logan- 1 lb 13 oz, Laura- 1 lb 12 oz, and Lucas- 1 lb 6 oz. They lived 10 days, 15 days,and 2 months 27 days, respectively. That was shattering. I was in the depths of despair. Then, God became real to me. It was still a struggle, though.
High school came and went. I was involved choir at both schools I went to. The second high school is where I started to stray, going along with religious friends, but not Godly friends. I went to church all during this time to my church (Sun morn and eve) but I started going to a Methodist church for youth group. They meant well, but the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. There was no separation, but there was plenty of fun. We were challenged to live a good life, but I dare not say a Godly life because this church used a perverted version of the Bible, let guys and girls touch, and girls wore pants, and all looked worldly. That's how many of churches nowadays get their teens: they let them do whatever they want. Praise God that I have a chuch at home and at college that calls for Biblical standards!
When I graduated high school, I then started looking for a college to attend. The one I am at now did not make my personal "I'll look into it" list. All I gave it was a passing thought. My pastor recconmmeded it to me. I decided to follow his advice. I am glad that I did, now, although there have been plenty of struggles that followed.
I think my entries became disjointed due to the fact that they are written over a couple of months aprt. Oh well.
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