Sunday, February 03, 2008

Super Bowl Sunday

How Football Is Relative To Church Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the closing hymn.

Draw Play - What many children do with the order of service during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.


Nicholas Z. Cardot said...

That's really funny! Wow.

Nicole said...

I thought so, too! One of my assistant pastors read it in church last night and I looked it up to post it.

Breezy said...

Ha! If only most of them weren't true...

Spring said...

How can something so funny be so sad?