Time lengthens and pain fades

I can not believe it has been 11 years already. April 23, 1997, my mom gave birth to triplets 3 months premature. Logan was 1 lb. 13 oz., Laura was 1 lb. 12 oz., and Lucas was 1 lb. 6 oz. They were so tiny. Their time in this world was short. Logan passed away at 10 days and Laura at 15 days. Lucas was our fighter. He fought for life until he was 2 months and 27 days...just 3 days shy of his original due date.
Now, I'm not recalling this just to have a sob story. The Lord worked in my life through this time of trial and heartache. I went from being the oldest of 3 kids to being the oldest of 6. I was already second mom in the house since my mom was the bread winner of the family and worked afternoons. With the birth of the triplets, I knew my responsibilities had grown. At that time, I figured all the things I wanted to do in life were to be set aside to help raise my siblings. I was only in eighth grade at the time. I can say I was the proud big sister.
It hurt me to see my family in such pain as the days went by. Mom was torn by thoughts that she had caused the premature birth because she didn't stay in bed when the doctor put her on bed rest. I had never seen my dad cry as much as he did. Nessa and AJ were still young.
My church family was so supportive during this time. People made us dinners and I know they were praying for us. My pastor and assistant paster officiated the funeral, which ended up being packed and another room had to be opened. So many folks were supportive.
I remember feeling like God was ignoring my pleas at first. I was so upset that He wouldn't allow the babies to live. I mean, they were innocent children they deserved to live. They had a family that loved them.
In July of that year, I attended Neighborhood Bible Time and the evangelist gave me good counsel. I was able to move forward in my walk with Christ and accept what He had done in my family's life. Every now and then I find myself wondering what the triplets would look like today, what their personalities would be like, and what I would be doing if they had lived. I do know that all things work together for good.